Parenting a rebellious child

Parenting a rebellious child

Rebellion is something many children go through, it is even natural for children to rebel a little as they grow and try to establish who they are and what they want. However, some children rebel much worse than others and the effects can be detrimental to the family dynamic.

Some children are naturally strong willed. I happened to have been one of them. Growing up, I wanted to make my own way. When I became a teenager, I chose the wrong way to go. I was so rebellious that it affected my entire family. They did not know what to do about my behaviour.

Given my history, I knew there was a good chance one of my children would be defiant. It happens to be my middle daughter. She is the sweetest little girl, but her will is so strong that it can feel like a tug of war sometimes. EVEN at the young age of four, she fights for what she wants without relenting. She does not like being told what to do, if something is not her choice, she makes it clear she is unwilling to participate.

I thought I would be prepared for this, I thought that of all parents, I would know what to do with a strong willed, defiant little girl. But just as with many lessons in parenting, you realize that it is a daily education. It is all a learning experience and the battle of the wills in our home has become a daily event.

 

When I see that determination on her face, I see myself. In many ways, this determination has been an asset to my life; in others, it has been a down fall. I have been seeking the Bible and counsel to help me find out how to focus that determination. The Bible talks about defiant personalities many times.

With a child who exhibits rebellious behaviours, it is important to be patient. You cannot fight fire with fire. The arguing will never stop if we react that way, if your child feels they can manipulate you, control your emotions by frustrating you, they will feel they are gaining the control.

A strong willed child often just wants control of their life. If you give them control, they will undoubtedly run with it. Instead, do not raise your voice. Do not respond out of anger, respond out of logic. Explain again and again until they understand your stance on the situation. Often, physical discipline with defiant children fails because they feel they have the ability to push you beyond your breaking point. You should never physically discipline your child out of anger anyway.

Giving your child a sense of control in a safe situation is a good way to let them exert their freedom, allowing them to choose a movie or help you make plans can be teachable moments.

Do not over-criticize, if you are constantly pointing out their bad behaviours, it can lead to the child wanting to disobey even more.

Provide uplifting and loving affirmations to your child. Encourage outlets such as art, music, or sports. Turning their focus to safe, healthy activities can encourage your child to put that strong energy into something positive.

If your child begins to rebel in ways that are harmful to themselves or others, discipline them with love and encouragement. You are not encouraging their bad behaviour, but encouraging them to obey and reassuring them they are loved, let your child know that God loves them and that you love them. Trust me, they will carry those words with them, even if their behaviour doesn’t always reflect that.

Take steps to get your child help, Christian counselling and youth groups are a great way for your child to be reached beyond the confines of home, which sometimes is just what they need.

Pray and be patient, just as your child will fight without ceasing, pray without ceasing. Pray before you react, God will see you through each parenting decision. God is faithful, having a child who rebels against discipline is not an easy road, but good can come of your family’s trials.

 

Categories: Love, Parenting, Teaching

4 comments

  1. says:

    As crazy as it seems, it is true. A 17 year old boy won a whooping sum
    of 43 million naira on bet9ja in Benue State otukpo local government.

    One of our reporters also found out that he should have won more than that as he played the ticket twice but was denied the glory by
    a greedy board man (bet9ja attendant) who cancelled one of the tickets just to have the 100 naira for himself.

    Presently, he is at the police station as angry mob almost beat him up.

    Attached with is the Coupon code as well as screenshots

    Like they always say, seeing is believing

    Coupon Code: B933RACACWAAZ-2053181

  2. says:

    Many adults and students in Ilorin have resorted to football betting
    as a way of surviving the
    current economic recession in the country.

    The News Agency of Nigeria reporter observed this on Wednesday when he
    visited different betting centres in Ilorin.

    NAN reports that both unemployed and workers have embraced
    various kinds of betting as an alternative to survive.

    A civil servant, Dayo Olaolu, told NAN that he was surviving on football betting
    as things were getting tougher every day.

    “I am not a gambler, but the situation in the country has forced me to it now as there is no alternative at the moment,” he said.

    A fashion designer, Quadri Idris, said he had been trying his
    luck to win a bet to cater for his family’s needs as his business was no more thriving.

    “Man must survive and I think the best way for this present situation is to gamble. I will not steal to survive as the situation at hand demands for alternative means,” he said.

    Moses Olawale of Kwara State Polytechnic, Ilorin,
    said betting had been of help to him to sustain his academic pursuit.

    Mr. Olawale said his parents could no longer cater for his academic pursuit which forced him to resort to betting as alternative.

    “I am a very lucky person because I always win bet. I use the money I get from betting to finance my tuition as there is no one to assist except my parents,” Mr.
    Olawale said.

    Felix John, one of the Managers of Bet9ja in Olunlade Area, Ilorin, confirmed
    that his betting business was witnessing high patronage by customers.

    “We see pastors, bankers, teachers, students and even girls coming to play bet as alternative for livelihood,” he said.

    Mohammed Ishola, the Manager at Bet 360, Amilegbe Area, Ilorin,
    said customers were coming in numbers to try their luck.

    “I am shocked at the high rate of patronage these days. This centre is always overcrowded that you hardly see space to place your legs,” he said.

    NAN reports that various betting houses are in town such as Bet9ja, Naira bet,
    Bet 360, Bet 1X2.

  3. says:

    As crazy as it seems, it is true. A 17 year old
    boy won a whooping sum of 43 million naira on bet9ja in Benue State otukpo local government.

    One of our reporters also found out that he should
    have won more than that as he played the ticket twice but was denied
    the glory by a greedy board man (bet9ja attendant) who cancelled
    one of the tickets just to have the 100 naira for himself.

    Presently, he is at the police station as angry mob almost beat him up.

    Attached with is the Coupon code as well as screenshots

    Like they always say, seeing is believing

    Coupon Code: B933RACACWAAZ-2053181

  4. says:

    Luck has smiled on a former truck pusher identified as Arinze Cosmas Ezeanyanwu who
    worked along the main market axis in Onitsha, Anambra state.

    The young man who is now into business at Emeka Offor plaza in Onitsha -reportedly won over 46 million naira
    in football betting as he was hosted today in style at the Bet9ja
    office in Onitsha. Congratulations to him.

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